Expand?

From the beginning, we wanted to connect with "nursing home" residents in South Lake Union. Until recently, there was no such facility in the neighborhood. Now that there is, we're wondering how we might engage the people there, as we keep meeting with our dear friends at Exeter House.

Since it's a little like starting from scratch, I found these tips from a website to help us keep it all in mind as we move forward.

-Look beyond the physical appearance of the ill or elderly people. Think of them as individuals with the same hopes and fears as you. Most nursing home residents have pictures of themselves when they were younger. Imagine all of the experiences they've had over their lifetimes. Look at the pictures and mementos brought from home to decorate their rooms. Each person is individual and unique.

-Remember that even if someone is confused or comatose, there is a chance of reaching him by touch and presence. Connect to these people by holding their hands or looking into their eyes. Even people with end-stage Alzheimer's respond to kindness and affection.

-Talk to younger children about the visit before you go. Explain to them that they may see elderly people in wheelchairs and with walkers and prepare them for the fact that some may not respond to them. Be prepared to answer their questions about catheters, different odors and confused or comatose people. Read some books with your children to help them understand about the elderly and nursing homes. A few of these are "Sunshine Home" by Eve Bunting, "Remember That" by Leslea Newman and "Old People, Frogs and Albert" by Nancy Hope Wilson.

-Get to know the caregivers and introduce yourself to residents. Find out when events are scheduled and participate if possible. When you get to know some of the residents, you'll feel more comfortable. Most elderly people enjoy being around children, and this gives children a chance to realize that the elderly are regular people who have interesting things to tell about their lives.

-Call in advance to see when it would be convenient for you to visit. Show the same respect you would if you were visiting someone in her home. Make sure your visit doesn't interfere with planned activities, such as bathing, exercise or meals. You want to have a relaxed visit. Plan to do the same things with the person you are visiting that you would do if you visited in her home. You may enjoy watching television together, playing cards or just sitting and talking. Don't feel like you have to force an unnatural situation just because you're visiting her in a nursing home.